


What is and Should Never Be

by Huntershelper25



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Cheating, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 06:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntershelper25/pseuds/Huntershelper25
Summary: Jess is a supporting actress on the show who develops a close friendship/Mentorship with Jensen. So close, that one night when she asks him to demonstrate something, things get a little out of hand.





	What is and Should Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> This will be part one of who knows how many parts. Jared may make a cameo at some point in future installments ;-) (and yes I stole the title… but it works!) please no hate, if you don’t like the pairing or the concept just don’t read it. Also! I am not a Danneel hater, I am as much in love with her as I am her husband (and she too may make a cameo in later installments)… this is FICTION, the only time where screwing Jensen can happen and not hurt anyone. There I think that covers it all…. ALSO! condoms are implied. There's no real sexy way to write about condoms. Just assume they are used. Remember, No glove no love, people!

 

  **January 2006**

            “Do you understand what this means? Did you even think about the repercussions of your actions?”

            “I don’t see what the big deal is. So we are out a little mon-“

            “’A little money’? Try $12,000! How do you expect us to get that back?”

            “Cut!” Everyone turned to face the middle aged woman out in the theatre. “Jess, great job. Alex, when Jess cuts you off try to drag the line out more so it’s not such an abrupt ending.” She looked down at her watch, “That’s all for today though. See you all tomorrow at two.”

            “How did you do on the chem midterm?” Alex asked Jess as they gathered their things.

            “Alright I guess, but who knows, Dr. Nafshun likes to ask trick questions, so,” she shrugged as she shouldered her messenger bag.

            “Jess, can I see you for a moment?” The middle aged woman asked as the girls were about to exit the theatre.

            “Sure, Maddie. I’ll catch up with you later, Alex.” Jess waved as Alex walked out the door.

            “Let’s head to my office.” Maddie gestured for Jess to follow her out the theatre and down a long hallway.

            At the end of the hallway Maddie opened a door with the words:

_**Madeline Ritegard** _

_**Theatre Director** _

_**And** _

_**Academic Advisor** _

            Each line was a different color and clearly painted by a different person.

            “Have a seat, Jess.” Maddie pointed to the chair in front of her desk as she took her spot behind it.

            Jess thought she should be a little worried. Maddie hardly ever called anyone back to her office. The last time Jess could remember anyone in the last year being asked back after rehearsal was for Maddie to tell them they were being replaced. But Jess was fairly certain her work was even Par, enough to keep her role, and Maddie wasn’t her academic advisor, since Jess wasn’t a theatre major, so this meeting was a little random.

            Nonetheless, Jess took a seat in the only available chair in the tiny office, bag on her lap, and waited for what Maddie had to say.

            “If I remember correctly our last production was the first you’ve ever done?” Maddie leaned back in her chair and folded her tiny arms across her chest.

            “If you don’t count when I was eight and played ‘gnome number 4’ in Rumpelstiltskin.” Jess laughed.

            Maddie nodded and leaned her small stature forward resting her elbows on the desk. “Well for someone with such little experience and no training you have some great potential. I mean your facial expressions alone are amazing, even those not seen by the audience.”

            “Thanks,” Jess began to blush profusely. “I do them mostly for myself. I feel if I can get the face right than my voice and body will follow. Is that wrong? I’m new to all this so I don’t know.”

            “No, whatever you need to do to portray your character correctly is not wrong. But that’s not why I called you in here, well it is but,” she opened a desk drawer and extracted a manila envelope and handed it to Jess.

            Jess accepted the envelope and extracted its contents. There were two separate sets of paper stapled together, about ten or fifteen pages each. Jess flipped through them quickly while Maddie sat silently.

            They were pages from a script, but not anything Jess had heard or read before.

            “What are these?” Jess looked from the pages and gave Maddie a quizzical look.

            “A friend of mine, Kim, is producing a television show and sent me these pages and asked if I knew anyone who would fit the part and to have them audition in LA in a few weeks if I did.”

            Jess stared at Maddie with wide eyes. She knew she was a decent actress, never starring role material, but good enough. Maddie was always praising her, but Jess knew she wasn’t TV material, there was no way she was THAT good.

            “So are you saying you want ME to go down there and audition?”

            “Precisely.” Seeing the panic on Jess’s face Maddie quickly added, “Study the lines for Brooke, come back to meet with me next week and we’ll run through them. If we both still think you should audition, we’ll talk about it then, alright?”

            “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” Jess was still slightly panicked as Maddie rose and gestured towards the door.

            “Just don’t neglect your current role.” Maddie smiled as Jess nodded and turned to leave.

            A television role? Did Maddie really have that much faith in her? Jess had only done one play before and that was at the insistence of her roommate, Alex, who didn’t want to audition alone. She had landed a tiny role in that first one with only a few lines. The current production she had won out and landed a much larger supporting role, even though she had auditioned for a much smaller part. But TV? She couldn’t even fathom that!

            Then the thought of what show it was and if she had seen if before hit her. She quickly pulled the pages out of her bag and read through them, oblivious to the fact she was standing in the middle of the parking lot

            She thought maybe the names of the other characters would reveal the show, but the names: Sam, Dean, and John didn’t ring any bells.

            Jess spent the next week going over the pages again and again trying different tones and expressions trying to find the ones that felt right. She didn’t have much faith in landing the part, but Maddie had faith in her and she didn’t want to let Maddie down.

            The day came when Jess was to meet with Maddie and run through the pages with her. Jess was so nervous that all throughout rehearsal she kept missing her cues. She could tell everyone was getting frustrated with her, but Maddie seemed to understand and kept reminding her to stay focused.

            When rehearsal was over Jess took a couple of moment to refresh herself on the pages before entering Maddie’s office. She couldn’t believe how much she had grown to want this part over the past week. She had begun to almost feel attached to Brooke. She really hoped to have Maddie’s blessing for this audition.

            Jess lightly knocked on the office door, not knowing that the next time, and the last time, she would be in Maddie’s office would be to tell her that she got the part and was heading up to Vancouver, BC to begin filming, and to begin a new life.

 

** August 2008 **

            “What’s your take on the never ending rumor pool of you and Jensen being in a relationship?”

            Jess couldn’t help but laugh at the never ending absurdity. She and Jensen had gone out to a bar for drinks about a year ago and were spotted by paparazzi and the rumors had just exploded. She’d admit that in the roughly two years she had worked with the guy they had grown close, but nowhere near the realm of relationship status. Besides, he had Danneel, who was also Jess’s friend and would skin Jess alive if she ever put the moves on Jensen.

            “My take? I find it entertaining to be honest. I mean he and Danneel have been open about their relationship, but there still seem to be conspiracy theorists out there that insist the he and I are together, but I can assure you we are not.”

            “What about the new rumor that has surfaced that you’re living together? That doesn’t seem to be quelling any of the relationship rumors.”

            Jess closed her eyes and tried to suppress another laugh. When she had signed on to this job she didn’t think about all the side duties that go along with acting on a TV show, especially the interviews. While she attempted to form her answer in a way that couldn’t be misconstrued she heard a recognizable chuckle come from behind her.

            She turned around to find Jensen, one of her costars, leaning against a pole of the tent she and her interviewer had chosen to conduct the interview in, coffee in hand and a smirk on his face.

            “Would you like to answer these questions?” She spit out with slight annoyance.

            “Oh no, I think you’ve got this.” He replied with a half smile as he brought the coffee to his lips.

            She rolled her eyes and turned back to face her interrogator. “Yes and no. We’re not living together. He’s just staying with me while some renovations are being done on a house he just bought. Mainly because where I live allows him an extra hour of sleep, cuz he’s lazy like that.”

            Jensen scoffed and Jess turned around and glared at him.

            “Okay!” he put his hands up in defeat. “I’ll go hold up another pole someplace else.”

            She hung her head and stared at the ground beneath her feet and sighed. Just as she brought her face back up to address her interviewer she was hit in the side of the face with a gummy worm. The collision was immediately followed by the insatiable laughter of Jared, her other costar.

            She suppressed her own laughter as she said, “It’s like working with children.”

            “Does this happen often?” the man sitting across from her asked, suppressing his own laughter.

            “Unfortunately….yes, but don’t worry they’ll get what’s coming to them.” She said with a smile.

            Pranks and little jokes were common place on set, but somehow over the last year the boys had made her the target of their debauchery. Jess took it like a pro though knowing that if they had chosen to ignore her instead, life on set would be worse. She rarely retaliated though because the boys always managed to turn her plans around on her, the sneaky little bastards.

            She finished up the interview with no further interruptions and headed back to her trailer to hopefully catch a few moments of alone time, or so she thought. As she entered her trailer Jensen was hot on her heels and nearly pushed her into her trailer.

            “Holy crap, Dude! What the hell?” she asked as she stumbled into the sofa. “Someone needs to switch to decaf,” she exclaimed as she saw how fidgety and excited he looked.

            “Shut up,” he said with a playfully hurt look. “I just wanted to remind you that some of the guys are coming over to watch the game later.”

            “And you felt the need to bumrush me in order to tell me this?”

            He raked a hand down his face, “Yeah, I guess that was slightly unnecessary.” He stood there for a moment with a concentrative look on his face while he scratched his stubble then raised his eyebrows with a, “Hmm” and turned to leave.

            “Decaf, hun. Decaf.” Jess said to his retreating back.

            Jensen raised a fist in the air and without turning around shut her trailer door behind him with the other.

            The rest of the day on set went smoothly and prank free resulting in everyone actually being able to leave set on time.

 

 

            Back at the apartment Jess kicked off her boots and plopped down on her sofa, relieved to finally relax.

            “I still can’t believe you just wore that off set.” Jensen said as he pulled two bottles of water from the fridge.

            “What? It’s cute and besides Brooke’s never gonna wear it again so it’s mine now.” She played with the hem of the jean skirt that rested at mid thigh, as she spoke. “Besides, you should talk! Half of your closet belongs to Dean.”

            “Does not.” Jensen argued as he handed her one of the bottles and fell into the other end of the couch. “Only a third of it does.”

            They both laughed.

            The “guys” apparently consisted of Clif, Jim, Jared, and a couple grips, who all showed up with a six pack each. Both Jess and Jensen allowed themselves to let loose a little and enjoy a few, they weren’t driving anywhere tonight.

            The game went into extra innings raising the tension and increasing the teasing and trash talking. Bets were being made about batters’ abilities to hit and pitchers’ abilities to throw strikes. The currency of the realm was the juvenile chugging of a beer by the loser, Jensen lost… a lot.

            By the end of the game the living room was trashed and Jensen had been firmly planted on a dining room chair as Jess said farewell to the guys. Clif offered to help put Jensen to bed to which Jess replied, “I think I’m just going to drop him in bed, clothes and all, we’ll be fine. Thanks Cliffy.” And hugged him good night.

            After closing the door behind Clif she turned to examine the damage. Beer bottles and cans littered the coffee table and floor in front of the furniture.

            “So, I got a question for ya.” Jensen said his Texan drawl coming out little bit.

            Jess whipped around on her heels to face him and had to catch herself with a hand on the back of the couch as the room began to spin. She steadied herself before she looked at him, eyebrows raised, awaiting his question.

            “That scene the other day, was that really the first kissing scene you’ve ever done or were you just messing with me?” He said with a very Dean-like debonair look on his face.

            Jess dropped her gaze. It had been the first kissing scene she had ever done. Albeit the kiss was just a simple kiss and not a make out scene, it had still made her nervous the moment she read it in the script. Jensen had told her from the moment they met, that if she ever needed help with anything, running lines, finding motivation for a scene, or anything of the sort that he would be more than willing to give her a hand. He had become almost her mentor and her go to guy. That day, though, it took all the courage she had to knock on his trailer door.

          _She felt stupid admitting that she was freaked out by that day’s scene. Jensen was sweet and accommodating as he always was when she came to him with an issue. “It’s just like kissing your boyfriend, with a little more thought put into it.” He had told her right off the bat. Her real issue wasn’t the kiss itself or the acting of the kiss so much as it was that she would be kissing him and it felt awkward for her to even think about it. He was her friend, and the thought of kissing him was strange. As their conversation went on he apparently caught on to that and asked, “Or is your issue because you’ll be kissing me and it’s weird?” She remembered shrugging and then all of a sudden he was kissing her._

_As soon as she realized what was going on she’d expecting him to pull away, the scene was just a quick kiss anyhow, but he didn’t. He had actually leaned into it a little. She remembered thinking that it wasn’t as awkward as she thought it would be, it was kind of nice. The moment the shock of it all had worn off and she had begun to fully reciprocate he had pulled away, looked at her for a moment, then said as he ran his index finger across his bottom lip, “There, now the awkward part is out of the way.”_

_However, the awkward part was not out of the way. The scene ended up being more awkward than initially anticipated and not just for Jess, Jensen had also seemed to be feeling a little awkward and not just on set, but for the rest of the day. He looking at her from across the room and would give her an uneasy smile whenever she would catch him. Jess spent the entire rest of the day wondering if her reciprocating the kiss in his trailer was the cause for the new awkwardness. Things were right as rain the next day though, so she hadn’t given it another thought._

            “Yes, Jensen, that honestly was my first kissing scene.”

            “So wait, wait, wait.” He put his hand over his eyes in an exasperated manner. “So, you’re telling me you’ve never even kissed anyone on stage?”

            “I’d only done two plays and smaller parts at that, so no, no kissing.”

            “Man, if you’re that nervous about a kiss, I don’t even want to know how messed up you’re gonna be if they write a sex scene for you.”

            She didn’t know if it was the alcohol, the atmosphere of the entire evening, or the manner of the conversation, but she was suddenly in a very snarky mood. “Well, you know I’m going to be coming to you if they do.”

            He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Of course.”

            She leaned against the back of the couch, “I mean, you do have some experience in the matter and you always said to come to you if I need help with anything.” She gave him a coy smile.

            “Yeah I have done a few,” he gave her a smug look.

            Jess’s mood was becoming increasingly more snarky as the conversation progressed and she couldn’t help but to remember a particular scene in an older movie he had done. One he regretted doing and one she regretting having seen. She giggled inwardly knowing mentioning it would embarrass him, even just slightly. “My particular favorite would probably have to be that one you did in that one movie.” She pushed off the couch and sauntered over to the dining table where he sat, “Oh yeah, Devour. Now that was a hot scene.”

            She smiled broadly as a look of distaste crossed his face. “Of all the scenes to choose from and you choose that one as your favorite?”

            “It was hot,” she shrugged, “I mean come on, you know there are girls out there that watch that scene on repeat.”

            “Oh, don’t… seriously!?”

            She shrugged and gave him an innocent smile,

            “Please don’t tell me you’ve done that?”

            She hadn’t, but she enjoyed teasing him too much to admit that, so she smiled and raised her eyebrows. “Like I said, it was hot.” And before she even realized she was doing it, she walked over to him, straddled his legs, and said, “Walk me through it. Better to get the sex-scene-walk-through over with now, than to worry about it when it actually comes up.”

            She stood over him, hands on her hips, and watched as he licked his lips then let his eyes run the length of her body and back up to her eyes. He stared at her for a moment, then without breaking eye contact or saying a word, leaned back in the chair and opened his arms in a, “Let’s do this” gesture.

            She maneuvered herself so she was sitting on his lap, legs on either side of him.

            He placed his hands on her hips, still looking her in the eye, not saying a word. He was supposed to be directing her, teaching her, but all he did was look at her. She remembered his hands on approach from the last incident and decided to take matters into her own hands and leaned down and kissed him. But this kiss was different than the others, this wasn’t a Dean kiss. Dean’s kisses were more methodical and smooth; this was tainted with sheer need and desire.

            Everything told her to stop, that this was wrong, that they were both drunk, that she shouldn’t let this go any further, but her body didn’t seem to care. It screamed at her to keep going, to take more. Her body, in the end, won out when she heard his heavy breathing and felt his hands begin to desperately grab at her hips and thighs.

            One hand on his face, the other gripping the back of the chair, she felt her mind let go and her body take over. Their breathing began to come in gasps and Jensen let out a few grunts as her hips began to rock in response to the pleading of his hands. The thin cotton of her panties against the rough thickness of his jeans created just the right amount of friction and she tossed her head back as a shudder raced up her spine.

            He took full advantage of her exposed collar bone, kissing and nipping his way down her chest until his lips found one of her nipples, already hard and poking through her shirt. She let out a soft moan as he gently took it between his teeth. His hands quickly abandoned her hips, which were now stationary as she enjoyed his lip play, and made quick work of the snap buttons on her shirt. He let out a soft chuckle when he saw that her bra had a front clasp. He fumbled with the clasp for a few seconds, but was unable to unhook it with his drunk, shaking hands. Her body screamed at her as she watched him try and fail again. To save him from humiliation and herself from exploding with anticipation she brushed his hands away and undid the clasp herself.

            He slowly pushed aside her clothing and she inhaled sharply as his thumbs brushed against both of her nipples. He looked up at her through his eyelashes as he moved in. She tightened her grip on the chair and grabbed a fist fill of his hair with the other, as he lightly flicked her nipple with his tongue. Her hips began to rock again as he double his assault, bringing in his hand to flick and pinch at her other nipple. Her breathing became intensely labored as she began to moan uncontrollably. The fabric of her panties thoroughly soaked as her body reacted to each flick, each bite, each tug, each grunt he let pass through his lips… She couldn’t take it anymore, she needed this. She needed him inside her.

            He leaned back and watched as her hands fumbled through undoing his belt. As she pulled down the zipper their eyes met. She watched his poker face slightly lose resolve as she reached in and wrapped her fingers around his stiff cock. He raised his hips and slid his pants down allowing her full access. She leaned in and brought her lips to his again as she pressed her warm, wet panties against his throbbing cock. He let out an angry, frustrated growl as he dug his fingers into her thighs.

            She didn’t even bother removing her underwear, she just pushed the fabric aside and slowly lowered herself on to him. It felt like every nerve in her body let out a cheer of celebration as another shudder ran up her spine. Her hips began to thrust as if they had a mind of their own. Their breathing was quick and labored in between grunts, moans, and a constant deep growl that seemed to be emanating from Jensen’s chest. She gripped the back of the chair so tight her knuckles turned white as she felt every muscle in her body tighten in anticipation of the inevitable.

            Jensen dug his fingers into her thighs urging her to thrust faster, bucking his hips up in response. Before she could reach her peak, he grabbed her tight, his nails breaking through her skin as his body surrendered in climactic convulsions. He gave one last thrust of his hips with a grunt before his body went limp in the chair.

            She sat there, hands still gripping the back of the chair, as their breathing slowly came back to normal. She was frustrated that she hadn’t gotten off and was in the middle of contemplating between making him finish her off or taking matters into her own hands when the sound of the late night news, of all things, snapped her back into reality. She suddenly became very aware of what had just happened and all erotic thoughts were replaced with one phrase repeating itself over and over: Oh my god!

 

            She awoke the next morning with a massive hangover headache and the memory of the night before at the forefront of her mind. She hopelessly prayed it had just been a dream, but the bruises and scratches on her thighs were a blunt confirmation that it was indeed reality. She leaned over her dresser and hung her head. Once she had come back to reality and realized what she and Jensen had done she had stood up, forced herself not to look at his exposed body, and because she couldn’t think of anything else to say, said, “Um, yeah.” Pointed at him and walked into her room, locking the door behind her. She had spent the rest of the night either pacing the room chastising herself or lying in bed staring at the wall. Even now, the morning after, she couldn’t believe she had done what she had done. She had sex with Jensen. She and Jensen had had sex, with each other. Dear God.


End file.
